August 31 2019. Eagles Peak ~ my happy place close to where my parents live.
It’s not often but I miss “home” today. Talking to mum and dad thinking of all the fun we could have while they are still experiencing the warmth of summer turning into autumn.
Why did I have to move so far away?
A sacrifice to protect and find myself so I could finally be happy; free from that which did not serve me on my path to better myself. But that meant starting over at an older age where friends would be few but many as we connect then disconnect. A continuous recycling of experiences.
Today I am inspired to find a new “happy place” as I have been inside for far too long during this battle against breast cancer and I need the earth under my feet to make things ok.
I no longer have a familiar now that Leo has passed to the other side. I do have my parents, husband and best friend there for me daily. Yet I feel so miserably alone without him by my side.
Leonidus ~ my familiar and I ~ May 2022
• I have specialists, therapists, counsellors and so many more professionals keeping me on track. Yet I feel so lost.
• I am further ahead mentally while my body lags behind physically. Yet I have not met one person I can fully relate to.
• I must find a happy place to mend time and strengthen patience.
Then one day I can be “I am” again.
I look forward to the day I can breathe without fighting some form of battle and just be… me.
Waikouaiti, New Zealand ~ August 2023
Until I find that day upon me, I will start celebrating the start of the Southern Hemisphere’s spring season and search for that place I can get away to and connect with the earth again.
Waikouaiti, New Zealand ~ April 2021
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