May was the month of my DIEP Flap surgery and I spent 12 weeks taking it as easy as I could with healing and keeping my creative life as busy and productive as possible while not pushing too hard.
I feel that so much stress was relieved after my last surgery due to the waiting time and also the date being reshcheduled twice. So much uncertainty when it comes to depending on major medical procedures needing to be done and over with!
On that note, I have my very last surgery to reach “completion” and feel like I can put the past two years behind me coming up in less than two weeks!
I am ever so grateful for every single person that has helped my husband and I over this time. From the GiveALittle donations, food donations, petrol vouchers, my beloved tattoo community showing up to help through charity and the funding that NZ has to offer breast cancer patients and all the love we have received from so many areas of life… I will forever be humbled from this time in my life. I now know what being a part of a community feels like.
Having to go through any life threatening illness is never easy. But I feel that if you can find a way to keep perspective, have some sense of control on even the tiniest of things (I choose creative projects and opened up with sharing my experiences to help others through blogging), and allowing people to help has made my life so full. I have to admit, the country I chose to live in has a lot to do with my positive outlook and the decisions I made to be the narrator of my life story.
We get one life, one body, and many choices throughout our lives. I chose to live the life of a creator because I was given the opportunity. The stress that comes with this choice is sometimes crippling when having acute anxiety and PTSD. But I choose to see the positives in most situations because it is way to easy to hold onto the negative. If I gave into the negative, I would not have had much of a life to live nor would I be here telling my story today.
I lost two friends earlier this year to cancer. I didn’t understand why I was spared and they were not. They have children, family and community. They made a difference. I have had so many wonderful things happen for me in my life, I am truly lucky. But the survivor’s guilt is real and I experienced it heavily.
Moving forward, I will be working up until just before my last surgery and then will have to be out of work for 4 weeks to heal. This will be one of the hardest 4 weeks even though it is so rewarding to reach this point.
Nearly two years since I was able to work full time and provide for my wee family. My husband has been a rock and I could not have done this without his patience and understanding. I honestly cannot wait to get back into work without the rollercoaster and wait so we can start living again. In order to try and lift some of the pressure off of him, I will be focusing on ways to bring in income outside of tattooing through art, so please watch this space for what I list in my shop.
Thank you all for being here, reading my words, and supporting my art.
x Aja
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