I’m having an emotional day. It’s my reality. I’ve lasted just over 8 weeks from surgery with only two major cry’s and I’m proud of how my body and mind has handled everything. I’m doing good.
My featured photo represents my daily breakfast routine. Pills, pills and more pills.
Yesterday was chemo round three and had some complications with my chemo port so the nurses had to use a vein in my arm to move forward with treatment. It went well, just took more time and so today my body needed to accept that it has to shed some emotions.
I keep forgetting that I’m fighting cancer and having hormone treatment. I just feel like I’m battling fatigue and my creative drive that takes me everywhere I’ve never had the time to explore.
I’m trying to find how I can exist without the creative world I have only known and survived for half my life! To have the time to just be me and not have the demands I’ve habitually worked around, putting aside the things I would love to create and grow who I am and be more than.
I have never had to depend on social media or internet connections before. It makes me uncomfortable. My tattoo work spoke for itself. I work on a connected energy level, human to human. But I can also do this with plants and animals, too.
So how can I exist in a world full of algorithms and the haunting feeling of annoyance when I am constantly trying to push the other side of me that so desperately wants to be seen and connect to others?
There, putting it out there feels better. It’s just my emotions and thoughts bundled up with only my amazing husband and mum to take this all in on a daily. I’m living in a world of my own and I know I cannot keep that world to myself if I want to evolve to a better version of myself over this time.
Thanks for reading, if you’ve decided to visit this space today. 💖
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