I haven’t wanted any photos of myself taken over these past few months. When I look in the mirror, I find it hard to see myself. No matter what anyone says to assure me it’s not as bad as I think, the weight gain and the hair loss (not the actual losing it but the part where it takes forever to come back) has been the hardest thing to experience.
Since I have not had much of a life outside of a mastectomy and chemotherapy these past few months, my social life has depended on virtual connections. Scrolling from time to time I can’t help but notice people posting about their lives and all I seem to notice is people’s hair and summertime shenanigans. I want to be outside and have messy beach hair, too!
Instead my life has been currently compromised with chemo, and I am very aware it’s been weighing on my mental health no matter how I try to see the positive surrounding me each day. (Never fear, I have therapist helping me keep my sanity in check). I know I need to try and create more memories that help this part of my life be more that cancer.
As my chemo is weekly now, I get two good days out of seven. Today, I had enough energy and motivation so I wanted to go to the museum and hang out in the Animal Attic while hubby had an appt.
After breakfast I prepared for getting to get out and be apart of the real world, and decided to put some makeup on and enjoy being out of the house without it draining my will to live instantly. It felt nice to join the world and have a solo adventure.
I did some drawing (exclusively posted on my Patreon) and took some photos that included a couple of selfies. I figured it’d be good to look back at one day, even thou most days I don’t want to be seen this way. For now I am just going along with the game of chemotherapy and decided to treat myself to some new headscarves.
Comments